The Tale of the Tape

In respect to my friends who are die hard Colts fans, I won't dwell on the game. However, if you are sensitive about it, I suggest you don't read because I am going to be talking about the "stillers".


Whenever you have a heavyweight bout, the boxers always stand on a scale in their skivvys so that they can be sized up (unless it's cold of course). The Steelers - Broncos matchup is, for pretty much everyone, going to be one of the most boring games ever. For the Willis household, it will be one of the most tense evenings ever.

So here it is, the tale of the tape:

Measurement	Broncos	Steelers	Result
QB	Plummer	Roethlisburger	Neither one throws more than 30 times a game. Both avoid the rush. Both have beards and need hair cuts. Edge goes to sandwich man Roethlisburger because I'm hungry.
RB	Anderson/Bell	Parker/Bettis	Both Thunder/Lightning type sets. Broncos have gotten more production out of their set, but Bettis is guaranteed from 1 yard out. Bettis takes the edge. Wheels on the bus go round and round...
Hard Hitting safety who plays by his own rules	Lynch	Polamalu	Both can be anywhere on the field at any time. Easy to spot Polamalu by his hair. Easy to spot Lynch because he's the only white guy on defense. Edge goes to lynch...who can hide behind a referee.
Coaching	Shanhan	Cowher	Shanhan looks like a leprechaun. Cower looks like Sgt Slaughter. Edge oes to Shanahan. He's got a pot of gold..and won't spit on you every time he says Roethlisburger.
Defense	Orange Crush	Steel Curtain	Draw. Neither one exists anymore

So that wraps it up. They are just going to sit at the 50 yard line staring at each other in a menacing fashion (like project runway).