Tuesday, January 31, 2006


While watching the State of the Union address I've come across some realizations (this is true for all State of the Union addresses)

  1. Why can't they just release the speech? The press already has it. Analysts will analyze it and tell us what he "really" said. Don't preempt Scrubs, House, and Bones.
  2. The worst thing to ever happen to famous people is HD. Makeup no longer covers blemishes.

That is all.

quick hits

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I'll make up for it with the quick hits..

  • Eating pizza without cheese is a skill. You have to be very careful not to let valuable tasty toppings fall on the floor. Thin crust is the easiest though, because the crust is so stiff.
  • Why do people refer to baby's ages in months? Are they really above the whole Year standard for eveyone else? It makes life difficult for us who have to do complex conversions in our head. Especially when trying to remember what we had for breakfast is a challenge. "How old is your child?" "He's 9 months" "So he's zero." I understand it when its less than 12 months, but when you say he's 185 months, just say he's 15.
  • People without kids are laughing right now.
  • People with kids are not.
  • Got an email from a friend to "join his pack". There is a new website that takes myspace one step further called catch27.com. When you sign up you become a trading card (with your picture on it) and then you can buy/sell/trade friends. I don't quite know why, but this seems wrong.
  • Shoutout to Doug for providing the link to Ultimate Showdown. Hilarious!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Work outs

CB had a good blog post the other day about working out. I hate going to "work out". It's funny because I like the effects of the workout. The same was true when I played sports in HS. I hated going to practice, but going to practice is what made the games more fun (especially when we mollywopped the other team).

Why is it that we hate the prep for the big event but we love the big event (this is true of pretty much any big event: weddings, parties, games, even Christ's return. The only time it's not true is for a funeral, but then you're dead so what do you care?).

The strangely un-ironic thing is that the people who are good at practice are the best at the event. Jerry Rice was renowned for his work ethic during the week. It showed on game day his entire career. Maurice Clarett is not known for this work ethic..I hear he trying to strike a plea bargain.

So if we know that we work out/practice/work hard we will be successful and we don't do it, does that mean we don't want the success or prize?

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

News and notes

Some thoughts in bullet time..

  • My wife is pretty and great (but she's also pretty great). Yesterday she took a sick day because she wasn't feeling well. She ended up bringing me lunch, making me dinner, told me to relax when I offered to help, and told me to go hang out with the guys for bball and bowling (bowling was last Friday). It's nice to be taken care of.
  • Shout outs and congrats to JR & Daisha Sheets on expecting a baby boy. The child's name is going to be Gideon Michael Sheets. The official Carl nickname is Giddie..as in Giddie-up! When the child becomes a pro basketball player I have a feeling he will make this a patented move on the court.
  • Life has been stressful for Shayna and I the past 3 weeks. Work for me has been brutal and college classes have been tough on Shayna. We are both experiencing the effects of gastritus. We may have to go on a strict diet of no caffine, no spice, and no raw veggies. to get us through. Definitely tougher on Shayna than it would be on me. :-)

That's it for now.

Monday, January 23, 2006

The day after

I'm kind of bummed today. I think the weather has got something to do with it.

The end of football season is always tough. Playoffs are the worst because there is only type of fan that is happy. I have 2 rules when it comes to playoff time.
  1. When the Broncos lose, I become a Steeler/Redskin/Ram fan. The Steelers because of my wondeful wife, Rams for my dad, and Redskins for all my friends who are suckers and are stuck with the Skins.
  2. I become a fan of the team that beat the Broncos. This way I can say that the Broncos lost to the best team and it was impossible for them to win the championship. If they lose to some scubs then it just makes me feel worse.

So thankfully I get to satisfy both criteria this year. I get to pull for the Steelers for Shayna and because they beat the Broncos.

I still didn't like watching them lose though..

I watched a recap of the game this morning. The Broncos started out decent. They moved the ball, had the Pittsburg D on their toes, and generally were efficient as always. The defense nearly had a fumble recovery and 2 interceptions. Once the Bronx fell behind though, the Pittsburgh D just went nuts and killed them.

I think the Steelers are going to win the big game. It takes a lot to win 3 road games. Playing the Seahawks on a neutral site should be easy.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Fatheads rock my face off

I'm not really into splurging on things. Shayna usually has to convince me to do something "fun". I'm glad she convinced me on the fatheads. They are pretty friggin cool. Here's a picture.

Monday, January 16, 2006

The Tale of the Tape

In respect to my friends who are die hard Colts fans, I won't dwell on the game. However, if you are sensitive about it, I suggest you don't read because I am going to be talking about the "stillers".

Whenever you have a heavyweight bout, the boxers always stand on a scale in their skivvys so that they can be sized up (unless it's cold of course). The Steelers - Broncos matchup is, for pretty much everyone, going to be one of the most boring games ever. For the Willis household, it will be one of the most tense evenings ever.

So here it is, the tale of the tape:
QBPlummerRoethlisburgerNeither one throws more than 30 times a game. Both avoid the rush. Both have beards and need hair cuts. Edge goes to sandwich man Roethlisburger because I'm hungry.
RBAnderson/BellParker/BettisBoth Thunder/Lightning type sets. Broncos have gotten more production out of their set, but Bettis is guaranteed from 1 yard out. Bettis takes the edge. Wheels on the bus go round and round...
Hard Hitting safety who plays by his own rulesLynchPolamaluBoth can be anywhere on the field at any time. Easy to spot Polamalu by his hair. Easy to spot Lynch because he's the only white guy on defense. Edge goes to lynch...who can hide behind a referee.
CoachingShanhanCowherShanhan looks like a leprechaun. Cower looks like Sgt Slaughter. Edge oes to Shanahan. He's got a pot of gold..and won't spit on you every time he says Roethlisburger.
DefenseOrange CrushSteel CurtainDraw. Neither one exists anymore

So that wraps it up. They are just going to sit at the 50 yard line staring at each other in a menacing fashion (like project runway).

Friday, January 13, 2006

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, it's time to celebrate your birthday, it happens every year
We'll eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat
A million people every day are starving in the street

Your daddy's in the gutter with the wretched and the poor
Your mama's in the kitchen with a can of Cycle Four
There's garbage in the water
There's poison in the sky
I guess it won't be long before we're all gonna die

Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well, what's the matter little friend, you think this party is the pits
Enjoy it while you can, we'll soon be blown to bits
The monkeys in the pentagon are gonna cook our goose
Their finger's on the button, all they need it an excuse
It doesn't take a military genius to see
We'll all be crispy critters after World War III
There's nowhere you can run to, nowhere you can hide
When they drop the big one, we all get fried

(Come on boys and girls, sing along, ok?)
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you

Well there's a punk in the alley and he's looking for a fight
There's an Arab on the corner buying everything in sight
There's a mother in the ghetto with another mouth to feed
Seems that everywhere you look today there's misery and greed
I guess you know the Earth is gonna crash into the sun
But that's no reason why we shouldn't have a little fun
So if you think it's scary, if it's more than you can take
Just blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!
Thanks Weird Al!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Midweek Treats

So Shayna finally got an iPod. It will be delivered this week. As a result our house is becoming more Apple friendly. We now have iTunes on all the machines. iTrip will be in the car. iCan'tBelieveTheyStuckWithThisFormatForSoLong. Steve Jobs is a marketing wiz, I'll give him that.

I'm a fathead. At least I come close to the qualifications for being one. They are currently having a buy one get one free sale. Shayna and I got Jerome Bettis and John Elway. I have no idea where we will put them, they are bigger than the grandfather clock, but I'm sure we'll find room for John.

My latest frustrations stem from Monkey Ball. Everything after level one is practically impossible I think. Either that or my mouse sensitivity is way to high.

Monday, January 09, 2006

Weekend update

Sorry no links today. If that's what you're interested you might as well move on to the next blog.

I updated the title of my blog. It was a joke from a conversation I had over lunch this past Sunday. I forget what prompted the comment, but it still seems funny. There are a lot of jokes I have like that.

On Saturday I watched the football games while my wife went to see Brokeback Mountain for a second time. The Redskins game was great. They didn't deserve to win, but I'm glad they did.

Sunday brought the Steelers to victory. They weren't clicking at first but by the end of the 3rd quarter they had the Bengals on the ropes and didn't look back.

Broncos - Patriots scares me. The Patsies are playing really well right now, and the Broncos have a propensity to get blown out in the playoffs. Saturday is my birthday so hopefully the football Gods will smile upon me.

This week our company is hosting it's annual world wide conference. It's a week of meetings, goal setting, and overall setting the tempo for the year. It's all the week that we close out 2005 financially. Needless to say, it's going to be a stressful and long week for me. Thankfully I have Shayna.

I don't want to wax poetic to much about how great she is (because she is) but today she has gone the second mile. Knowing that I was going to be coming home late and stressed, she cleaned the apartment, made banana bread, and took me out to dinner at Villa Bella (a local italian restaurant). Normally just coming home and giving her a hug and kiss just brightens my day. This just made it all the more. Even though she had a stressful tiring day of her own, she decided to make the evening all about me.

That's what makes marriage great folks. When you are tired you have someone there to hold you up.


Friday, January 06, 2006

It's been awhile

Hello readers, it's been awhile. Why do the holidays make things so busy? Really things should just be easier.

For those of you that love technology Tivo has announced the Series 3 at CES (Consumer Electronics Show). I'm happier than Steve Ballmer (CEO of MS)

Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson tries to beat his Gran Turismo lap time on the real track with the same car.

When you stare down someone in a boxing match, be sure to not kiss them

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Happy New Year!

Well, it's been a great weekend. The Broncos destroyed the Chargers and they only played for half a game. On Saturday Shayna and I went to Outback Steakhouse for our New Years Dinner. Rang up a $70 bill (fortunately we had a $50 gift card). Shout out to Cris for providing dinner to me and my beautiful wife.

In other news, Maurice Clarett is wanted for robbing 2 people at gunpoint. Just another reason why this kid was bad news. I'm glad the Broncos decided not to keep him.

Doug Flutie scored on a drop kick. It's been ages since someone did a drop kick. I'm glad he did it. Although it just makes New Englad a more dangerous team. Any time someone fumbles there is a risk someone from NE will kick it through the uprights and get 3 points.

I read an article each week called Tuesday Morning QB by Gregg Easterbrook. There is an interesting portion of the article regarding The Menace of Clean Air. I'll post that portion later..